Did you ever play tug of war?
Did you ever pull and pull but you just know the other team is stronger? At that moment, have you ever just let go to watch the other team fall away to the ground?
Sure, maybe you lose the game but how satisfying is that? ( :
You may not like to surrender to a loss but the satisfaction of still standing on your feet, while the “winners” pick themselves up, allows you to find a new perspective in that loss.
Now, do you play this game with life in general?
Do you know when to pull harder or when to just let go?
Surrendering doesn’t always have to be looked at as a loss. It’s the way we perceive the situation and decide – Do we want to fight the resistance and fall hard, or do we want to let go and perhaps see this particular game from another perspective?
Fighting an obvious loss is basically wanting life to be other than what it is. Sometimes recognizing this tug of war match will allow you to decide that “surrendering” doesn’t mean you give up. You just choose to have control over how YOU will react to it.
It means whether the situation is “good” or “bad” you start to trust. You start to trust that your higher self knows EXACTLY what you need. We don’t just throw our hands up and do nothing but we DO start to back off a bit and let this universal flow take the reins.
Wow, that sounds easy doesn’t it?……well, it’s hard as F**K.
We perceive the world through our senses. It’s those senses that breed desire. It’s those desires that breed attachments. It’s those attachments that breed emotions like anger, fear, lust and so on…This is where we get trapped. We sink into what we “think” we know instead of what the actual truth is…and that TRUTH is…you manifest your ENTIRE world yourself.
We WANT things to be different then they are, and THAT is what causes our cycle of emotions.
We desire to feel good ALL THE TIME and then we desire the things we need in order to achieve those desires.
The thing is, those desires only satisfy us for the moment. After the desire has been filled we desire something else…then something else…then something else…and so on and so on…It’s a never ending cycle.
Believe me, I struggle just like everyone else…
I watch the rollercoaster of life take me for a ride everyday. I sometimes struggle to accept the climb up in the same way I enjoy the ride down….but…
Life IS a rollercoaster…and if you analyze it from a certain perspective you will understand why you can’t have the ups without the downs. When the ride finally ends, maybe, you even want to ride a BIGGER, FASTER and CRAZIER one!
You may have never wanted to get on the rollercoaster at all but as soon as you surrender into the ride, you start to see how it’s YOU that actually controls the ride. The track is set and cannot be moved but you choose to either scream in fright or scream in excitement!
You can fear or obsess about the ride down, try to predict the twists and turns, the ups and downs, or the loop de loops…but in the end “surrendering” into it is when true freedom comes. It’s surrender that awakens the part of us that will understand why you got on that ride in the first place.
It’s accepting ALL of life for the intricate puzzle it is…without judgement.
It has to ALL fit perfect, otherwise the puzzle will never be complete. EVERY piece, small or large, has to be in perfect position.
We don’t all get the “position” we want every second of the day but nevertheless, it’s ALWAYS working for the whole picture…not just moment. It’s not midway that the puzzle looks beautiful…it’s when you finally put that last piece into place.
Things don’t seem fair sometimes, I agree, but then what is really fair anyway?
Ever experience your child having a complete meltdown over not being able to get something? Let’s say ice cream, maybe?
They cry, kick and scream like their world is ending…and YOU are the cause of it.
It’s at this point in our lives we have our first memories of surrender. We have to “surrender” to our parents and their rules.
Maybe we can’t have the ice cream because it will spoil our dinner? or maybe…perhaps, it’s for medical reasons?
I remember a friend’s child couldn’t have ice cream because of a rare digestive problem that could potentially land him in the hospital. The thing is he was too young to truly understand. All he could witness, at the time, was everyone else could have it but him.
What if this worked the same way for us? So, like the child, we just didn’t understand the whole picture? Maybe you couldn’t have what you want because it could unknowingly cause you harm. The desire would be fulfilled but could potentially affect your future well-being…or maybe even someone else’s well-being.
So just like the kid that can’t understand why they can’t have the ice cream, we as adults might also have to start to understand that there might just be a universal purpose to ALL things you might consider to be “good” or “bad”.
Here we are, once again, deciding what we think is “good” or what we think is “bad”.
I know I’m sometimes a broken record but THIS IS one of my discovered secrets to life.
There is no “good” or “bad” It only exists as a concept. If you analyze it you will see it isn’t separate but one in the same.
What if the worst thing that happened to you ended up being your biggest blessing and on the other hand, what if the best thing ended up causing you the most pain ever?
So again, what is really “good” or “bad”? (I did a whole blog called “Crushing the duality between pain and pleasure”, if you want to read more about this)
To be content with life when things are going well is easy, but trying to be content when things aren’t going so well can be horribly challenging.
We are conditioned to think we need the important job, with the nice car, the big house, the huge wardrobe, with the model family. This, especially in western society, we have found to be what is “supposed” to make us happy.
…but does it?
Have you ever attained something materialistic, that you truly desired, and your life was never without pain again?
…of course not.
Sure, money may make things easier (in theory) but it’s certainly not the answer to everything. Steve Jobs was one of the richest people in the world and yet, unfortunately, that couldn’t save his life.
To truly feel joy is to learn to be just as content with things you have as much as the things you don’t have.
Happy is good…joy is better.
Happiness is dependent other other people and external or material influences…joy is from within yourself.
So with surrender comes freedom and from freedom comes joy.
Through my journey I have compiled a couple things I’d like to share. These are things that work for me and have had an amazing impact on my life and the world around me.
1. Start to be grateful for the things you have and stop obsessing over the things you don’t. I know it might sound obvious but most people put all their energy into complaining about the things within their life that they hate or wish were different. When this happens, IMMEDIATELY find something in your life that you love and give thanks for it. If you feel you have nothing then give thanks for your eyes…you’re reading this, so you have eyes…some people don’t.
2. Surrender into life the way it is and the best way you can. This doesn’t mean we sit back and do nothing and it doesn’t mean we are happy with every situation. It’s acceptance…Accept the good as you would the bad. Remember the “bad” moments in your life that found “good” and search the “good” moments that may have ended “bad”. There is no difference, it’s all based on your perception. Remember the story about the kid and the ice cream…we may not know the higher purpose behind why we can’t have what we want, sometimes we just have to trust.
3. Stop comparing and stop assuming. Stop judging everyone and especially yourself. Do your best and just be the best version of yourself…and leave the rest alone. No one is perfect and we all f**k up from time to time. It’s how we learn. Stop comparing your life with someone else’s. You only see people and their lives through YOUR OWN perspective, not truth. You have no idea what hurt or pain may be lying within anyone so don’t assume anything is what it seems. You are ALWAYS where you need to be. Unlike what people think, it’s not a competition.
4. Have an open mind! Don’t be so quick to judge someone who may be outside the “normal”. Normal has never broken any boundaries in life and has certainly has never done anything worth remembering. Look beyond the dogmas of religion, politics and the so called “structures of life”. Anyone or anything who follows a doctrine of fear, guilt or hate is counterproductive to ANY type of joy and that’s not my opinion, IT’S FACT.….run as far as you can and never look back.
5. Start paying attention to ALL things, big or small, and give thanks for ALL OF IT. Observe ALL the things you take for granted! (fingers, toes, hands, feet, water, trees, friends, lovers, food) and give THANKS! Those are small examples…but they aren’t so small when you lose them, are they?
6. Live more simple. Simply, don’t make such a big deal over every little thing. Buy less, give more. Get rid of old clothes, possessions and clutter.
7. Listen more. Breathe more. If something gets you upset and you feel the need to respond to a situation, take a short breath before speaking. Sometimes just taking a breath can make all the difference in your response and in your day. Take more moments to just sit and breathe slowly. In a nutshell…just slow down.
Last but CERTAINLY not least…
8. Meditate daily. Find a moment in your day (early morning is best) to sit and meditate. Learn to mediate! Find a teacher (Im a teacher, btw) if you feel you need one. Meditation directs us to our hearts. Within the heart lies ALL the answers if you just take the time to listen. EVERYONE can meditate no matter how restless or crazy you think your mind is. Meditation has been scientifically proven to benefit ALL aspects of your life. Meditate. Meditate. Meditate.
Remember, things could always be worse no matter what situation you are in…ALWAYS have gratitude no matter what you are going through.
Bust yourself out of this prison called “the mind” and taste freedom. Surrender into life EXACTLY how it is.
Change your perspective, change your life.
Thanks for reading ( :