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Balancing the "dark" and "light" parts of your existence ⋆ Breath of the Lotus
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Balancing the “dark” and “light” parts of your existence

Balancing the “dark” and “light” parts of your existence

There’s something truly beautiful that occurs twice a day, everyday. The point where the sun is just up passed the horizon and then again when the sun is just about to set…

It’s called “Twilight” hour.

Throughout our lives we exist either in the “dark” or the “light” but I think few of us know how to live within the “twilight”.

The “twilight”, to me, is what I recognize as this harmonious balance. It’s allows me to use the ego part of myself as a tool to stay on my path while slowly moving toward the “light” at my own pace.

I wouldn’t say living forever in the “twilight” is necessarily what we want but it’s a way to step out of the”dark” and awaken to the truth of our existence. We learn to accept ourselves for who we are and who we chose to be. It’s THAT acceptance that pulls us permanently from the “dark” so we never have to return. It’s a way to TRULY understand the lessons you’re handed and a way to pass them onto others to ultimately unite us.

Let me explain…

The “dark” represents the story you have created for yourself from birth to present time. It contains all the events, situations and maybe even traumas from within that story. It’s your habits, conditionings, ego, personality traits, emotional responses, etc… It’s anything that you (or someone else) would identify or remember YOU as.

Yes, the “dark” includes moments within your life you might consider awful, but again, it’s all part of the story you create for yourself.

Remember, YOUR life is what YOU perceive it to be and nothing else. You can choose for the “dark” to write your story or you can choose to see it in a new “light”. You can see things black or white or you can see all the beautiful colors in between…its ALL up to you.

Now the “light” is simple but could be hard to understand.

The “light” represents your TRUTH.

It’s the part of you that represents ONLY love and nothing more. It’s the part of you that doesn’t question whether you are doing something right….It just KNOWS.

We can find the “light” through meditation and yoga practice but also anything that TRULY inspires our hearts. Anything that allows your heart to lead would draw you into the “light”.

When you help out a stranger without expecting anything in return, THAT is the “light”.

When you stop your thoughts enough to be mindful of how beautiful the present moment is, THAT is the “light”

When you cultivate a joy without receiving or attaining anything materialistic, THAT is the “light”

When you see the absolute beauty in your partner (or anyone, for that matter) despite anything they would consider a “flaw”, THAT is the “light”.

The “light” is found anywhere you stop using your conditioned mind to judge, analyze or make decisions.

Now, just like we strive to be in the “light” we also need a bit of the “dark” in order to live our everyday lives.

For me I find hanging in this “twilight” gives me the balance I need to understand the truth but at the same time allowing myself to be open and not closed off to this illusion we live in. This allows me to learn but a the same time….teach.

…but first, in order for you to find that balance between your “dark” and “light”, you have to FULLY understand and accept your “darkness”.

I, myself, have done things I wouldn’t say I’m proud of. I have lied, cheated, and stolen. I have hurt people purposely and called people names. I’ve had feeling of anger and hatred toward others and I have had moments of rage in my life that literally scared me to death.

These things, while not condoning them, are also “dark” parts of me that have made me into who I am today. So while those “dark” parts may not be pieces of me I’d like to share, or even remember, they are things I needed to accept about myself.

Acceptance helps you move closer to the “light” and guides you into this “twilight”.

There is likely NO ONE in this world who hasn’t been the villain in someone else’s story. One person can love you more than anything in the world, while at the same time someone else could be wishing you death. It’s not crazy…it’s perception.

Darkness may have it’s level of seriousness but NO ONE is 100% innocent and no one is without imperfection. It’s unfortunate we judge ourselves probably more than anyone we meet because it’s THAT very judgement that is projected into the world.

We are all just mismanaging the balance of “dark” and “light”. We are having a lot of trouble accepting….and IT IS the acceptance that is the key.

Sometimes lessons aren’t always fun.

If you touch a hot stove as a kid and burn yourself you know to NEVER touch that hot stove again. The stove might even leave a scar as a permanent reminder.

So, maybe you do sometimes horrible….something that leaves a “scar” Do you go through this life suppressing it? Trying to ignore it? or do you learn to ACCEPT it?

Accepting isn’t condoning…it’s just a way we understand that we’re allowed to make mistakes. Making mistakes helps us learn why we made them in the first place and how we can grow from them.

The problem is most people stick to repeating the same mistakes, blaming someone else for their behaviors and eventually making things worse for themselves.

Too many of us get lost in the “dark” and too many of us unfortunately NEVER find the “twilight”, let alone the “light”.

So, how to we move toward this “twilight”?

We begin simply by observing and understanding the similarities in all of us. To understand we are ALL the same just operating at different levels of “dark” and “light”

  – Drop into Gratitude. Be grateful for everything ALWAYS, no matter what. Awake in the morning and be grateful for the bed you are in, the feet that allow you to walk to the bathroom and the soap that washes your face. It’s easy to forget all the things we take for granted but someone out there doesn’t have a bed….someone doesn’t have soap….and someone doesn’t have feet. Gratitude is THE #1 secret to life. When you master this you don’t need to do anything else. (I have a whole blog on Gratitude you can check out also)

– Stop making judgements of other people. Judging others is really only a projection of yourself and your own fears. You have never lived in anyone else’s shoes but your own, so don’t judge ANYONE’S life or the decisions that another person may make. You can have your opinion and thoughts but realize that’s all it is…another story YOU are creating.

–  Avoid gossip and gossiping yourself. If you surround yourself with people who gossip you start to create false perceptions of people. When you create false perceptions you create separation. When you create separation you stray farther from the truth and farther from your purpose here.

– Believe you are EXACTLY where you need to be, while believing EVERYONE ELSE is EXACTLY where they need to be also. Strive to be content with however your life is at THIS very moment. You will have ups and downs but know that it’s all working for a higher purpose. On the same token, you are NOT in charge of how far in life anyone should be and that also includes your children. Guiding people you care about is a human instinct but guiding out of love is different than guiding from your ego. Telling your kids they HAVE to go to a good college is guiding with your ego…ASKING your kids about their passions or interests and lending support on their journey is guiding with love and “light”.

– Find a community of friends or people who you share a common interest or goal with. Surround yourself with people whose VALUES you admire instead of their big house, car or financial worth.

– Work slowly with yourself and ONLY practice the things you are TRULY ready for…Listen to your body. EVERYONE is different and it’s up to you to find out what idea is attractive to you and how much you can handle at once without giving up. Diets are a good example of something people do when they aren’t ready. People fail at diets mostly because they want too much at once. They want to lose weight fast and in the process end up gaining more. Find what works for you and not what worked for your friend.

So many of us dive too deep into a new exciting idea and then get too overwhelmed when it becomes difficult…and I know this all too well. For most of my life I would get overly obsessed when I discovered a new interest. I want to always be the best and know the most. The thing is, I usually end up discouraged when I’m not as good as someone who has been doing this particular thing for decades. It wasn’t till I started to just listen to my body and follow MY OWN path, instead of someone else’s, that the truth of who I wanted to be came shining through.

Be slow and steady…start small and grow. Just like an oak tree starts from a single seed, it takes years to become tall, strong and completely rooted. It doesn’t look at all the other trees around it and get jealous. It instinctively knows it takes a certain amount of time to grow into this massive tree.

– Meditate. Yea, Yea, I know I mention this is ALL my blogs but that is how important I believe meditation is. Meditation drops you into your truth and into the subtle body that holds wisdom and not just thoughts. It holds space for you to truly see the “light”. Start slow…

When people say “I try to meditate but I can’t sit that long” I always say to just try to sit for 1 minute twice a day. I think everyone can do that, right? Sit for 1 minute one day then try 2….and 3…and 5…and so on. Most people think if they can’t meditate for 30 minutes the very FIRST time then they “can’t” meditate….this is just simply not true AT ALL. The problem is people have huge misconceptions about what creates a new habit. Start small and make it attractive to you.

Along with all the suggestions above, just be more of YOU!

Are you using your heart to make decisions? or your head? Truly feel what you want in your heart FIRST, then bring it to your head to figure out a way to achieve it.

Instead of asking yourself “What do I want?” try asking “How do I want to feel?”

All of life is a practice. We don’t have to be perfect everyday at every moment and each day is new day to start over. Accept you can make mistakes no matter how large you think the mistakes are.

Believe mistakes aren’t really mistakes at all but lessons.

…with lessons comes wisdom.

…with wisdom comes growth.

…with growth you begin to move beyond the dark…….into the “twilight”.